There are so many things about the disease that I can't handle these days. The whole psychology behind it, the idea that it's living in my body, working against me, turning my immune system inside out, is hard to grapple with on a daily basis. But more then that, what's worse is not being able to stop thinking about it either. I've spent the past few days at home, working from home, but I have so little energy that even resting this much isn't making much of a difference.
And then you start to get self-critical, blast yourself for watching too many episodes of Felicity that Zip.ca has sent you, and feel guilty for not getting enough work done.
But the truth is that I can barely get out of bed these days and my head is in such a fog that I'm surprised I can concentrate on anything for more than 10 minutes. How do people cope with this?
Girl with titanium hip will rock. Girl with titanium hip will write. Girl with titanium hip will read. Girl with titanium hip will battle crazy-ass disease called Wegener's Granulomatosis. Now stuff that in your spelling bee!
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2 comments:
I don't think you can watch too many episodes of Felicity - it's exactly how you cope at time like this. Thank goodness you haven't cancelled Zip.ca! Self-critical, schmelf-critical.
Keep strong, keep writing here, keep being just what you need to be at every little moment.
I once watched two seasons of Felicity in one weekend and I had absolutely NO reason for it. I don't feel guilty a bit, nor should you. Just rest girl. It's what you need most.
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