Random Comments From My Work Conference

Enter Ragdoll dressed as well as can be expected for a chubby girl taking lots of disease medicine that's making her very well indeed. I mean it may be keeping her alive but it's certainly pulling her out of the pretty club faster than you can say Fat Actress.

She nervously stands looking shockingly out of place beside an empty table and sits down, joined by not one, but two very important men. What does she say to them? Oh, in no order of embarrassment she babbles on about cottages, work boyfriends, and her RRHB's exploits in Saskatchewan where, apparently, the hottest women in Canada live.

In fact, she actually reenacted the scene from Austin Powers, it was the coup de gras: he'd say something about snow; I'd zip it and use the sassy hand move. "Sn--" [Sassy hand gesture} "Zip it!" Stop. Turn purple with embarrassment. Repeat. Are these not the stages of complete and utter corporate exposure. Has she turned into Bridget Jones (there were few embarrassing speeches and only one fellow who somewhat resembled Mark Darcy)?

Oh.

Look.

There's snow in April.

She thinks the zip it was most certainly vindicated.

A-hem.

Earlier in the week, an author we're publishing came to visit. I told him I was realy looking forward to reading his book (it's a non-fiction title a topic close to my heart).

I said, "I can't wait to read your book, my great-grandfather fought with the American company during that war, the one with William Faulkner."

"Oh yes," the author says, "it was such and such..."

And then someome piped up, "That would make a great novel."

Yes, yes it would, and it's something I've been thinking about for about three years now. Anyone want to publish it? I promise it'll be good. Will anyone remember that pitch in the beginning of the morning...probably not. But it's cool.

Now that it's over I have very few regrets. I work with lovely, lovely people, some of whom I think I'll have a grand time with over the next few years on some really fantastic projects. All in all, despite my nerves, despite my utter feeling of awkwardness and geekiness. Despite feeling out of place and scared most of the time, it's over, and it's only going to get better from here. And for the first time in many, many, many years, I'm truly excited about going into to work every day.

I have one more thing to say. It's to the very important person who sat beside me at dinner that night: thank you for not only making me feel lovely, but for saying so out loud. It really was fun. The best night of my conference.

But in spite of being nervous in front of very powerful people, and as someone very wise with whom I work said to me: "Relax, Ragdoll, This is just your life now."

And I think I'm going to enjoy it.