Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Do You Hate Yourself As Much As I Do?

Last night in my creative writing class, my teacher said something that struck me. We were talking about creating characters that a reader hates and whether or not that would work in story. For the most part, it's hard to read a book or a short story when you absolutely despise the main character, simply because you don't care, and then you don't bother—there's no emotional investment. After we talked for a while about how to approach it, the teacher said, "Because everyone likes themselves," meaning no one outwardly hates themselves, so why would they be so hateful in a story.

But I thought that was such a funny thing to say, coming from such a different place where someone does actually like themselves. It's a concept I've been struggling with for years. I've always hated myself, hated things about myself, thought I was a bad person, thought bad things happened to me because I was a bad person, worried about how other people must hate me too and had a hard time even taking the palest of compliments. I guess he was trying to say, that even people that the reader hates wouldn't necessarily hate themselves, so you need to find an element that they can relate to, to make them more human.

The example he used was Travis Bickle, from Taxi Driver. He's a totally despicable person, but you don't hate him, and you don't really know why. I chimed in that maybe it's because you see him fall in love, and that gives him an edge of humanity, something that makes him not just pure evil. It was an interesting discussion. I'm still thinking about it today, and maybe trying not to hate myself just that little bit less so all my characters don't come out as fuct up as I am...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hmm. But Travis isn't totally despicable -- I mean, yes, he has several neuroses, and the war's screwed him up. He doesn't know how to relate to people or be part of things. His living situation is grotty and he eats a horrible diet and his job constantly exposes him to the seedy side of life -- much of which clearly disgusts him. He's racist, and he's got a lot of company there. He doesn't know what women want, but he's got a lot of company there, too.

But even though he enjoys adult porno, he shows himself to be disgusted by child prostitution, and makes some effort to help Iris get off the street. He's revolted by her reflexive attempts to service him. And he is so thoroughly disgusted by Sport (her pimp) and everyone connected to pimping Iris that he guns them down. Sport is the most despicable character in the film, if you ask me. Well, him and the guy Martin Scorsese plays, the passenger who wants to kill his wife for cheating on him. Travis's morals are old-fashioned and sexist and racist but he's still not the worst character in the film. "Despicable" seems like too strong a word for Travis.

Okay, he considers killing a Presidential candidate to get Betsy's attention. That is...less than optimal. But I can sort of understand the impulse.

I think that while Travis is not typically sympathetic, he's enormously vulnerable, with several acceptable impulses and understandable neuroses and that's why we "like" him.

Sorry to write an essay in your comments. Can you tell this is one of my favourite films?

My Boy is Ten

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