Tuesday, March 08, 2005

The Boss From Hell

Here at TRH, we pride ourselves on being snarky. It's a talent I honed while recapping for TWoP. So, in what is the first of, I hope, many snarky lists, is the Top Ten Ways You Know You've Got A Boss From Hell.

1. She's pure evil. Now I say "she" because female BFH (Bosses From Hell) are very different from male BFH. The male BFH is just usually dumb, ie, a good talker with not much between the ears. The female BFH is truly evil, like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers evil, like says one thing and does another evil, like evil that you could never even possibly imagine evil.

2. She hires people that make her look smart. Even though they're not the right people for the job, and even though the rest of the company really doesn't like working with them, but she keeps slogging away with them anyway--because they make her look good.

3. She uses her employees as scapegoats rather than admitting she's in over her head.

4. She's the biggest, fakest, fakiest, fake you'll ever meet in your life. You wonder if she's ever had a real emotion.

5. She knows how to play the system. That doesn't mean she knows how to do her job; it just means she knows how to show the people above her, who seem to know even less than she does, that she's doing something.

6. She rules by fear and intimitation rather than actual leadership. Now that really sucks because it means the underlings are consistently afraid of getting into trouble instead of being afraid of something going wrong.

7. She loves power more than she loves anything else. And she's not afraid to use it. Which often results in last-minute changes to huge projects that she really doesn't know what's going on in the first place, but feels the need to put her ten cents in.

8. She pretends to care, when it suits her.

9. She talks about people behind their backs and then tries to cover up what she said with a fake smile. Barf.

10. And last but not least, she uses Lauren Weisberger's The Devil Wears Prada as a handbook, and actually revels in the fact that she's just as evil, but without the fashion sense, good taste or even the good haircut...

So there you have it, if your boss displays one or even two of these characteristics, you need to quit now. Run. Run away my pretties as fast as you can because you don't want to waste precious energy trying to impress someone who is so obviously unhappy with her own life and the choices she's made or else she wouldn't be a BFH.

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