Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Life As I Know It Is Over

Here are 5 reasons why I'm so sucked into May sweeps:

1. Jack, love of all that is manly and awesome about life, has been beaten half to death by the baddie Chinese he escaped from last year (Lesson #1: Always run away from your past (and your daughter too if she's on the phone because mean-ass guys are waiting to pounce)). Not even Jack's awesome canvas sack of awesomeness could help him then.

2. Lorelai slept with Christopher. Okay yes, decidedly sexier than Luke, and yes, obviously rich and super hot and totally he worked the fact that they've been into each other forever that night, but man—she's in love with Luke. She said so to Jan (from The Office, see below) for goodness sake.

3. Pam. Jim. Kissed. Okay, and it was a totally honest, totally heartbreaking scene where he told her everything and she "didn't know what to say." He cried one tiny tear (they get you every damn time!). Don't f*ck this up. Please.

4. Blah McDreamy stares at stupid Meredith, blah there's a dance, blah Denny kicks it, blah, to be really supportive, Meredith sleeps with DrBlahMcDreamy thus officially making her the "other woman." Blah she stands at the apex of a triangle of loooooveeee people—between Ronald Miller and Robin. One used to mow your grass; the other is Batman's right hand man. Yeah, yeah, I know no contest, McDreamy will win. But dammit: WHO CARES. Enough with the love triangle already. It's so over and it's not even finished yet. I miss Denny. I know it's not logical but I do—why make him go through all that and then just kill him anyway. I was scared of sharks nipping at the heels...they can sniff the blood. They can.

5. Various episodes of Law and Order with cast changes. The exits were dramatic (ohhh, dead bodies in cars, ohhhhs scandals with the IAB, ohhhh). But for the most part these shows are stable and I'll keep watching them before bed. They're better than sleeping pills.

Oh, and I would have watched the season finale of Medium but my cable crapped out so the Faux-Vo recording sucked. That makes me sad.

Is that it? Is it all over? What's a girl to do now that all of her shows are finished, she's reading books that she can't write about because they're advance reading copies, and there are crap movies out there to watch?

Well, this girl waits for two weeks for the finales to The Sopranos and Big Love then sits back and patiently waits for Deadwood to return. What do you think the chances are that I'll get a pile of writing done this summer? Good, I think. I will not, I say, will not be tempted by So You Think You Can Dance.

I live in constant fear that I will now to begin to bore you dear reader. How wil you all survive now that all your favourite shows are over and not even So You Think You Can Dance can fill the void?

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