Oh No, Da Vinci Code

Well, it's not good. Not that I expected the hype to lead to anything substantial, but The Da Vinci Code is quite the stinker. Of course, 85 bajillion people are going to see it anyway, so it doesn't really matter what I think. But because this is my space, I'm going to tell you anyway.

The book doesn't make a good movie. All of the intrigue and what little suspense Brown builds up in the text is completely lost in the film as it loads itself down with pedagogic flashbacks and cuts away any action that might keep the picture moving. It's kind of shocking actually, because when I read the book, I thought to myself: "It's just a movie on the page." But after watching the botched adaptation, it's not that at all; it's a potboiler (the book), that manages to keep you (relatively) interested in (somewhat) complex material. None of this translates onto the screen.

Oh sure, the performances are good, but the script is so hacked together that you have to wonder if anyone making this movie actually watches movies. Because if they did, they'd realize that the flashback is a tool best left to bad MOVs on the CBC. The gauzy substance covering the majority of them in "history" didn't help much either. It's the cheapest way to tell a story. It doesn't give you any confidence in your audience, but that's not surprising, look at the source material.

Annnywaay, I had it in my mind all the ways the film could have been better: load all the historical stuff up front, fast forward to today, actually show all of the four guys at the beginning getting knocked off, I could go on for days. In the end, I guess the biggest criticism is that the film is far, far to faithful to the novel, when a little artistic license and interpretation would have made it a much better film.

On to the next summer blockbuster. X-Men anyone?